The Disintegration & Integration Loops
Disintegration and integration are the natural and integral parts of the processes that we call Life, Death, and Evolution.
Awareness to the simultaneous disintegration of an old form/state and the integration of a new one, is one of the big challenges of the liminal Bardo, threshold space.
As the full potential of any state is both within it and beyond it at any given moment, it is the continuous movement and relationship between form and emptiness, form and formless, infinite potentials and finite manifestations.
Spiritual teachings from different traditions call us to return to the space that can allow a conscious and steady unfolding of this pulse: THE HEART
“Awakened one,
having arrived at the time of death, Do not let your thoughts wander.
Having arrived at the time of death, think of nothing but the awakened heart.”
These are lines from the Bardo Thodol – the Tibetan Book of the Dead, spoken by the magnificent Laurie Anderson ,my muse since the age of 12, when I bought my first vinyl recored, her debut album: O Superman
My vinyl collection became my greatest passion through my teenage year, and in some cases a point of connection with new friends.
The Disintegration Loops - is the title of an incredible work of art by the musician William Basinski.
It is a simple minimalistic piece of music, that beyond its enchanting, meditative feel also holds the essence of a musical phrase that is kept, even when the physical magnetic tape on which it is recorded- the music’s “physical body” - is disintegrating.
Basinski has cut out a short musical phrase from an older project that he had recorded on a magnetic tape, then he taped its beginning and its end, creating a tape loop – a musical loop.
As the organic magnetic tape was in bad condition, (due to exposure to changes in temperature, light, humidity and time, that eventually effected the physical state of these tapes) it was actually disintegrating as it was playing during the process of digitizing the music – transforming from one medium to another. He recorded the whole duration of the disintegration.
A new “musical being” was revealed.
The timing and location of this creation has a symbolic meaning as well – on September 11 2001 NYC – the physical ,non-organic and sudden disintegration of the Twin Towers emphasized the sense of fragmentation and fear ( a common state when going into the Bardo).
Basinski placed a video camera on the roof of his apartment, capturing the last hour of day light on that day, as the smoke from the fallen towers was blowing in the air, He played the disintegration loop at that hour of twilight.
The Disintegration loops - capture the evolutionary transition of the music industry from Analog to Digital on two levels and two stages:
First on the level of music production: from recording on analog tapes to digital recording on computer software,
and on the level of music distribution: from CD’s to on-line streaming.
This album was publicly distributed on a CD, a medium that didn’t last very long into the new millennium.
The Disintegration Loop
The disintegration that we are going through on a global level during these times, surely confronts us on an individual level as well, and invites our awareness in many fields:
What is disintegrating and what is re-forming or integrating? What is it that is always present, unchanging? And how can we use this transition to be co-creators of an evolved state?
As a collective
The previous form of our techno-economic system is rapidly changing.
We are accelerating into a new system, which is expressed through the shift in the medium of production and distribution, expression, communication, exchange and transaction.
What is it that we’ll take with us into the next stage?
Is it going to be the same pattern - including competition, abuse of power, dominating hierarchies etc. only in a different form?
Or is it an opportunity to shift these patterns?
Do we even have a chance to influence and change these patterns?
Are we going to consciously move through this shift even if it seems that this is not where the mainstream culture flows , and not be discouraged?
As a community
(with the example of the community that I was a part off):
The previous form of the Kundalini Yoga Community, on many levels, is not going to be the same.
How are the corruption, exclusivity, and shadows that have been a part of the foundation of this organization going to change?
Surely the core timeless essence of the teachings of yoga will not change, and the essential expression of Kundalini Yoga will keep inspiring and influencing the lives of many.
What is the next stage in the evolution of Kundalini Yoga?
This includes the obvious changes that we experience as the medium of the “industry” is changing – moving from mostly physical gatherings to on-line gathering and learning, which is something we thought was impossible!
But it is much deeper than that.
I felt called to explore it in my way, and at some point invited practioners to join this exploration.
As individuals
What is disintegrating within your personal space, internally and externally?
Can you stay with the awareness of the disintegration, aware of the cracks and the raptures, before jumping into something that could look different, but might still hold the same patterns?
Kirtan Kriya And The Disintagration Loop
The Beginning Of Sadhana In A Bardo
In the winter of 2021, still deep in the Covid crisis, shaken by the turmoil in the Kundalini Yoga community, and after several months in Israel caring for my mother through a severe depression, I realized I had entered a Bardo.
My daily spiritual practice needed to shift, and be in acord with this threshold, in which the known form of the practice itself started to disintegrate.
I didn’t know then how long this Bardo would last: my mother’s death only months later, the growing fracture within Israeli society, and eventually, the war…
This is how Sadhana in a Bardo started, and it is continously evolving since then.
I have been experimenting with combining Basinski’s Disintegration Loop 1.1 music as a soundtrack with the practice of a the Kundalini Yoga meditation called Kirtan Kriya.
This was my first experiment of breaking the rules of the prescribed practices, lifestyle, and culture of the community.
It created a whole new experience to practice as I held the intension of bringing awareness to the disintegration, while meditating with the mantra that is traditionally used in this practice, a mantra that points to the essence of the Timeless True Self, using the seed sounds:
SA TA NA MA – Infinity, Life, Death, Rebirth.
Traditionally, it goes against the official instructions of this practice, as taught within the organization, in terms of the use of different music, which obviuosly alters the experience.
Here is where I took a leap of faith. It might seem small, but to me it felt big.
This is what we practiced in the first livestream session that I taught, recognizing that I’m entering a Bardo, and that the old ways are disintegrating.
I am very grateful to those who participated in the experiment, for their trust and feedback, and those who participated in the experimental online “Labs” that I shared since the beginning of the war in October 2023.
If you too choose to experiment with this meditation and this music, please be very aware of how you feel, and trust yourself to decide if you wish to keep practicing with this vibration, or stop.
You can also just listen to the music, it is a meditation in itself, Or watch the video of the twilight zone of September 11th (was that actually the time when we entered a collective Bardo?)
As my experiments continued, I’ve let go of another main aspect of the prescribed practices, and started using different mantras, and other sounds.
in this case, the disintegration led me to a very primal sound, the “mantric- body” disintegrated, and what remained was a hum.
mmmmmm…
Think of nothing but the awakened heart
my shedding ceremony